Here is the truth, I'm scared. I think I'm always afraid of something. Sometimes it's fear of the unknown, sometimes it is fear of success. The crazy thing is that for a long time I used to think that if I was not afraid of something, then something worse would come my away. Example, when I have to get on an airplane, I make myself feel intense fear and anxiety. My thought process being that at least I am preparing for the worst and that if I didn't maybe the Universe would think that I was not afraid of it. "You do not want to mess with the Universe," I used to say to myself. But today I am reconsidering this way of thinking and exploring new ways to view life and the Universe. Here is the thing though, we do need fear because it is necessary for survival types of moments where you have to escape from a bear. However, fear is more like a defense mechanism that needs to be kept in check or it will go wild and loco.
Fear is not a way to be mindful. Mindfulness is all about being in the present moment. Fear loves to remind us of the past and convince us of a doomed future. Therefore, to overcome fear, we have to be present in our daily lives. This world is full of things that make us afraid. These things suck our energy and drain us of willpower. So, how can we be more fearless? These 3 steps have helped me ease the control that I've allowed fear to have on me.
1. Look Fear In The Eye And Challenge It
Ask Fear questions about the outcome of the event or decision you are planning to engage in. What is the worst thing that could happen? Think of fear of failure, for example, as an experiment to learn what works for you and what does not. Start by challenging the small fears. The more fears we overcome, the stronger we will get.
2. Take Back Your Power
Many of us have willingly surrendered our inner power to our internal fears and to a globalized fear. This is how we kind of fit in. We are the architects of our own reality, which can be scary to some of us and that is why we give away our power. Fear feeds off of this, so lets stop giving it food. We create our world through every decision we make. Lets start making decisions based on love and not fear. When we don't feel worthy, we lose our power and leave it for someone else to pick it up and use it against us. We must never let anybody place value over our lives, we must give ourselves our value, independent of anyone's opinion. Not externalizing our power means taking responsibility for our thoughts and feelings.
3. Change The Way You View Fear
You are right if you say you can overcome your fear and if you say you can't. Changing you mind about things that worry you changes your world. It's liberating! Ever since I was a teenager I have felt like I was not good enough for anything. I didn't realize then that I was internalizing other people's criticisms of me and marking them as true. Even today I struggle with feeling like I am worthy of success. Eliminating this fear will be a process but I am aware that it is there and I need to work on it. That fear is not serving a purpose, it is actually preventing me from achieving higher goals. There is no reason for me to keep holding on to what the people closest to me said in the past. I am free and so are you!
Some people might say that there are forces outside of our control that make us feel fear. To an extent, this is true. We can't control what happens to us during the day, but we do have control over how we respond. Death of a loved one, for example, can make us feel fear of our own limited lives. However, there is nothing to worry about. Our bodies die but our spirits live on forever. Tapping into our inner child helps us embrace the unknown since we become more curious about things. Curiosity killed the cat but it made it wiser when it came back to life. To overcome fear, we must let go of all labels and expectations. Let go of other people's definition of you and create your own. We came here to dance, to live, to explore, to love and to smile :)
With Love, Dania