The Wall

Walking alone, down by the side of the road, I looked down in a reflective state of mind. The morning air tried to wake me from my zombie-like state and still I walked with no emotions, only thoughts.

"Wanna walk with me?"

I looked up to my left and saw her and immediately became her best friend. She was everything I wasn't; happy, mysterious, curious, fearless, and so much more. I've seen her in my dreams before, just never would've thought she would manifest into life. She was giddy and I felt like I was too old to be her friend. 

"Let's climb up that wall," she said

"I don't know. Why can't we just keep walking? The sun is nice, the smell of grass and roses is too good to pass up!" I said.

"Oh come on, there is an abandoned castle on the other side. Let me show you how easy it is to climb." she insisted.

"How do you know what's on the other side of that wall? Have you been there before?" I asked.

She looked at me and confirmed my suspicion with her eyes. Her face was very expressive.

She jumped and grabbed on to the edge of the wall. It looked effortless. She started describing all of the beautiful things she was seeing. I was still stuck on the other side. I was afraid that the wall was too high for me and if my attempt failed it would bring my death.

I looked around and gathered 3 big rocks and stacked them on top of each other. I got on top of the rocks and attempted to jump to the other side but my fear of falling was too big. I ended up just sitting on the rocks beating myself down with criticism. 

Suddenly, a group of people started jumping over the wall and they too made it look effortless. My friend on the other side was getting impatient and kept asking me, "are you coming or what?"

I decided to stay and told her to keep going without me. She didn't respond. The wind was the only one making any sounds. For some odd reason, I didn't feel hungry or cold or even sleepy as the years went by. I just sat on the rocks trying to decide if I should jump over the wall. 

Ten years had passed when I finally resolved to do it. 'Today is the day I jump! I can do this. If I fall then that's the end of me and I'm fine with that. No more sitting around waiting for a miracle to make me feel like I can jump.'

I took a deep breath, jumped, grabbed on to the edge of the wall and finally got over that wall. 

I looked around and my best friend was no where in sight. All of the greens that she described were now brown. I was all alone with my new found courage. I started to feel hungry and cold but there was no food or shelter in sight. The castle that my friend had described years ago was not there. I think she made that up in order to get me to jump. 

After walking for what seemed like a day, I came across an abandoned cottage near a lake. I opened the door and let myself in without anyone's permission. There was no one there. I came to love this place as time went by, even made it my own with a few flowers.

Moments before my death a few years later, I realized that my indecisions and fears in life kept me from others and from many adventures. My constant need for approval and love from others kept me from opening up and trusting people. I created my own limitations and believed in them so much that even when I saw others do "limitless" things, I still did not believe that I could achieve such feat. 

Life can be joyful or it can be dull, it's up to me to choose. As I came to this realization, I heard a knock on the door.

"My best friend, why did you wait?" 

Those were the last words I heard.

 

What did you think of this short story? Should the ending be different? If yes, what should it be? 

With Love, Dania